Cry me a river

Yesterday afternoon I cried. I cried a lot. The tears pouring down my cheeks could have filled an ocean. The loss that I felt as my father relayed the news to me via mobile phone was overwhelming. My last words to him before this misfortune was "Get well soon" but he never did. I tried to be strong and hid my tears since Thursday, but I could not hold it in anymore. It all burst out like a dark, dense, heavy rain cloud raining down onto the earth. All the pent up tears of 6 days. I cried so much that I got a headache, felt dizzy and went to bed early. I felt sad and disappointed. Sad to lose my grandfather and disappointed that my long-awaited holiday would need to be cancelled.

Dear Grandpa,

Death. Some view it as an end, while others view it as just the beginning. As I write today's post, my maternal grandfather is lying unconscious in the Coronary Care Unit (CCU) of the hospital with his closest kin around him. He has been on life support since last Thursday after suffering a heart attack. But today the doctors have confirmed that his brain is indeed dead. The pastor is there to perform the final prayers and rites. Only time will tell when his heart gives its final beat.

Dear Grandpa,

You have lived a long life. I remember how proud you looked in the picture of you carrying your first newborn grandson. I remember very well when you came to visit my home in Sydney and the BMX bike you bought for me. I remember you lifting me up in your arms when I was chased by a dog one early morning at the park. I remember when you took me visiting around Malaysia when I came back during winter break. You took me to museums and taught me that the national flower of Malaysia is the hibiscus. When my family returned to Malaysia for good, you used to send me to school and pick me up. Your old red Ford Laser stood out like a sore thumb in a school of wealthy kids with luxury vehicles but that didn't matter to me.

Dear Grandpa,

I always adored your twin wooden elephant sculptures in your cabinet. They were the best playthings when all my toys were at sea on a shipping vessel en route to Malaysia. I remember you took me swimming during the school holidays. For an old man, you could still swim well and liked to pull me underwater. I remember the first time you exposed me to Indian food at a neighbour's open house. "Puttu mayam" looked very much like vermicelli with brown sugar and coconut. I could never understand your love for mutton curry. The smell used to put me off. I remember when I stayed overnight at your place and you weren't keen on me playing with my SEGA GameGear. I remember walking to Hankyu Jaya with you. I remember the set of world flags you gave to me and I set it on display on top of the shoe cabinet. When I first got my brand new red car, I remember driving you to Lucky Garden to run some errands and you did not want to fasten your seatbelt so I had to drive slower. You were quite a stubborn old man.

Dear Grandpa,

I am sure you do not want to see me weeping at your departure. If I were dead, I would want the same and not see anybody crying over my dead body. For the body is useless without a soul, and your soul would have gone to a better place. To a happy place where there is no more suffering. To be reunited with your late wife and son. Though you may not be with us any more, we will always remember you in our hearts. Go in peace, Grandpa.

Lots of love,

From Your Grandson,
Jaded AL.

A night at the orchestra

Last night I attended a concert at the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra (MPO) featuring songs written by Rodgers and Hammerstein (R&H). Rodgers and Hammerstein's names are synonymous with American musicals such as Oklahoma, Carousel, South Pacific, The King & I, and The Sound of Music. Being an 80's kid, I grew up watching The Sound of Music and The King & I. I wasn't too familiar with the others except for a few songs such as "If I Loved You" from Carousel and "Bali Hai" from South Pacific. However, at the end of the show, I learnt two new songs. "Oh What a Beautiful Morning" and "People Will Say We're In Love" from Oklahoma are my current two new favourite songs.

I was rather surprised that R&H songs appeared to be popular over here as it was a full house last night. The stars of the night were Jacqui Scott and Andrew Halliday who provided vocals for the selected R&H pieces. Both are West End/Broadway performers who have taken leading roles in many well-known musicals such as Chess, CATS, Evita and Phantom of the Opera. It was a great performance last night and the crowd was really entertained.

The Jaded Violinist

Did you know that the Jaded Accountant used to play the violin and earn a living teaching music? Does it surprise you?

If I still remember clearly, I was first introduced to the instrument when I was selected to be the minstrel in a school play. Later on I thought I saw my classmate in a TV ad playing the violin. It looked and sounded complicated and cool!

I first learnt the violin when I was six years old. My first teacher was a second violinist with the Sydney Symphony Orchestra from Beijing. He was rather stern and old-fashioned in his teaching and had wanted me to stand in front of a full-length mirror to practise everyday. After he left, my next teacher was a young lady who played with the orchestra as well. She made lessons really fun by showing me that the violin could mimic all sorts of sounds such as a bird calling, or the siren of a fire engine. She also promised to play me a song after every lesson.

I stopped violin lessons when I left Sydney and only resumed lessons five years later, now in Malaysia. By now, I had outgrown the quarter sized violin and needed a full sized violin. It was back to learning how to hold the violin, bowing and fingering. Boring stuff if you ask me now, but extremely important to get right in order to obtain a strong foundation to progress to more advanced matter.

For the advanced student, there comes a time when average intermediate lesson-grade violins just won't do anymore. While preparing for my diploma, I realised that I needed a better violin and bow - one that would respond more sensitively to how I played, and also one that would produce a quality of sound pleasing to the ears. I purchased my first real deal violin while on a holiday in Sydney. The instant I tried it at the violin maker's shop, I fell in love with it. Its higher register sounded smooth, bright and sweet, while the lower register was deep and mellow. It was my 'holy grail' of all holy grails!

I completed my grade eight examinations five years later and was halfway through preparing for my diploma when I decided to further my studies in Sydney and had to stop lessons again. After a year of study in Sydney and then joining the workforce back in Malaysia, I now find that I do not have the time (and patience) to pick up the instrument I so loved again. It is now lying in the case with two of its strings snapped and wanting replacement...

Under my bed...

No, I'm not talking about monsters under my bed. There are none. There's no space for them in my world. The empty space under my bed has become the most strategic place in my bedroom. If there's anything I can't find a space for, I chuck it under the bed. If there's something I need to use frequently but can't be bothered to put it back at its proper place, it goes under the bed. Let's see now - I've got books, dumbells, CDs, magazines, toys, empty boxes, some rough paper and occassionaly my glasses and mobile phone. It seems like the most convenient place to store things. When I'm lying on my bed, all I need to do is to just reach under and feel for it. It's as simple as that. I don't need to put my feet down onto the floor to walk to the desk or the bookshelf. It's all within reach.

As a kid, I'm sure most of us would have been through the phase where our wild imagination created a realm where monsters dwelled under our beds and would come out at night to catch us - thanks to horror movies of the late 80s and early 90s. Thankfully, I never believed in those, except for Freddy Krueger from Nightmare on Elm Street who gave me the creeps. I remember I was just 5 years old when I watched A Nightmare on TV at my friend's home before going to school in the morning. The most memorable scene was the blood fountain spurting out from the bed where Johnny Depp had slept. I'd always imagined Freddy hiding somewhere inside the bed or between the hollow walls of Australian homes.

That's enough. I think I have disgressed far enough from the original topic now!

The day I left a Big 4 accounting firm

After watching this YouTube video and literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off, I highly recommend this video as a 'must watch' for anybody considering a career in accounting. This video speaks the bare naked truth of life in a Big 4 after peeling off all the superficial layers of glamour of a high-flying career with a Big 4.

17 September 2010 is the date I left a Big 4. To date, it's only been barely 15 months and I have no regrets, except for missing a few good friendships I'd made during my brief stint as a Big 4 accountant. Words cannot express the joy I felt the moment I walked out the office doors, into the lift and out of the lobby, never to return again! I felt liberated of all my grievances! To be free to see sunlight again! To be free to feel the warmth of the sun caressing my pale skin! Freedom to breathe fresh air again! I felt like a prisoner released from prison! Too long have I wandered lost in shadow!

COACH

Mum just bought herself a black patented leather COACH handbag yesterday. She's always wanted a COACH bag but every time she walks into a COACH retail store, she walks out empty handed complaining that it's too overpriced. Yes, I agree with her. Luxury goods are always overpriced here, thanks to the high import duties. It costs double to buy a COACH bag here, than to make a purchase from the US. Mum's original intention was to wait until we go to Hong Kong to look for some good deals but since she managed to get one from a friend who just got back from the US, I don't think she will be getting any more unless greed gets the better of her. Anyway, I couldn't help but try out her new handbag last night by slinging it over my shoulder pretending I'm a sophisticated woman, and prancing around the living room showing off the new COACH handbag.