On the eve of my birthday...

On the eve of my birthday, I feel like crying. Not crying tears of joy but weeping tears of self-pity. While those of my age are nearing or at the peak of their career and riding the waves of success, I marooned myself on the island of (voluntary) unemployment.

It all began a little less than 4 years ago when there was a mass redundancy at the firm I used to work for which was also my very first employer. Involuntary unemployment. However, within a month I was back in the workforce again in an almost identical role churning out financial statements and income tax returns. However, 7 months down the line I was getting rather tired of my role as I have been doing the same type of work since 2007 and very much needed a new environment with a new challenge. A Big 4 accounting firm accepted me in their tax department. The remuneration offered was atrocious as I had been downgraded to graduate salary after having 3 years' worth of work experience which they did not recognise. 3 months down the line, I quit. There was too much office politics with colleagues backstabbing each other. The hours were also long when there were tax audits case to close. The job also involved too much travelling to clients' premises and the tax office. In addition, I found it hard to get by with the meagre salary of a freshie. Within 2 weeks of voluntary unemployment, I received a phone call from a large Business Process Outsourcing company asking me to attend an interview for a position I had applied to 3 months before. It was for a consultancy role - something very new to me. I passed the tests and interview and accepted the job offer. The salary offered was much more reasonable compared to the Big 4. As with all things new, it was initially a very steep learning curve as I had to equip myself with all the knowledge required to provide sound advice to the internal team and to our external clients. However, 2 months into my new role, there was a management restructuring which ultimately saw my team without a manager. Another 3 months went by with no sign of a manager to lead the team. I wasn't even sure where we were headed to. I just did my job as required, growing weary of the uncertainties as each day passed. Realising I could not work like this anymore and not wanting to restrict myself expertise to such a narrow scope in payroll and statutory compliance, I jumped upon the chance when a former colleague at my second employer informed me of a vacancy and that they were willing to re-hire me. I went back to my old office refreshed and with a brand new perspective; I was motivated and happy to go to work again. However, my happiness was short lived and only lasted for 1 year and 3 months. In June last year, there came the devastating news that my employment with the company had been terminated due to a company-wide redundancy which saw all its employees jobless. This would be my second redundancy in 3 years. Involuntary unemployment again. I tarried for 3 months and was the last of my peers to get back into the workforce. This time, I joined the shared services centre of a large multinational company, optimistic that I could serve a minimum of 1 year. Alas, I couldn't stay a day longer after 7 months of hell and called it quits after going through 2 out of 3 critical points in the annual tax accounting cycle.

So here I am, jotting my memoirs of a failed career in accounting. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do next. To tread down the safe path would be heading in the direction of accounting but I am all too certain that my fate would be the same; it's as good as career suicide. It's time for me to ask myself: "What do I really want to do?"