The day I got my hearing back

I have been mildly half-deaf since Christmas, and it gradually worsened within a month until I couldn't bear it anymore and went for a checkup at the doctor. I knew it was due to impacted cerumen (earwax) and it didn't really bother me until I felt terribly annoyed at being only able to hear with my right ear. My left ear was severely blocked and I could hardly hear a sound. Upon consultation with the general practitioner on the ground floor of my office to get my ear irrigated, he immediately referred me to an ENT specialist at the nearby hospital 500 metres away, citing the risks of syringing.

The visit to the hospital was an interesting one for me as this was the first time that I had walked into a hospital alone for an appointment. I have a fear of hospitals. My greatest fear is seeing gravely ill patients (covered in blood) being wheeled around quickly by the emergency team and getting lost in a labyrinth of white walls and finally ending up in an operating theater filled with surgeons in scrubs.

I found my way up to the ENT department on the first floor and was fortunate there was a cheerful and helpful nurse on duty who checked my appointment and showed the way. While filling in the registration form and waiting for the doctor to arrive, I couldn't help but think of all kinds of rubbish. Will the clinic look like a mad scientist's lab? What if the doctor cannot remove the impacted earwax without cutting open my head? What if I become deaf due to negligence?

The doctor arrived shortly and I was called into his room. An elderly friendly doctor sat behind a huge desk and was ready to hear my problem. He then sat me on a reclining chair and proceeded to test my hearing with a tuning fork. I have not seen one since the early 90s when my violin teacher used it to tune my violin for me! After confirming which ear was blocked, he then inserted an otoscope into my ears which was hooked up to a display screen. I was surprised to see lots of hairs in my ear canal. I always imagined it to be as smooth as a baby's butt! Finally the blockage showed up. It looked like a coral tree of whitish fronds all over the place. My problem is that I have dry type earwax, which does not easily flow out on its own, unlike other types of earwax.

The nice doctor dripped some solution into my ear canal to dissolve dry cerumen and stuffed some cotton into my ears to let it soak a bit before removal. After several minutes, the time came to remove the junk stuck in my ear. The doctor inserted a long vacuum tube that was roaring with the sound of a vacuum cleaner into my ear canal to attempt to suck out the blockage. It was an interesting sensation having a vacuum inside my ear. As the doctor increased the pressure and went deeper, I felt as if my eyeballs were going to be sucked out of their sockets and through my ears! That was a very peculiar sensation - almost like wind being sucked out from the corners of my eyes.

After several attempts with increased pressure, the cursed, wrteched yellow junk finally came out. What a relief! As I was resisting the discomfort of having my ear canal vacuumed, the doctor looked happy busily vacuuming my ear, sucking out the last bits of cerumen from my ear. After the buzzing in my ear from hearing the roar of the vacuum died down, I could finally hear properly again. My surroundings sounded crisp, clear and loud. Oh, I could finally enjoy the clarity of sound again! Too long have I dwelled in a world of muffled noises. In my mind, I can already imagine Vivaldi's Four Seasons - Spring playing in my mind. With each step I take, green grass grows, flowers blossom and birds chirp!

The Brown Buffalo

For the first time in my life, I went shopping for a wallet yesterday. I have been rather fortunate all these years, never having to buy myself an 'urban necessity' such as a wallet, watch or mobile phone as I received them either as gifts or hand-me-downs. My last wallet was a black leather wallet received as a farewell gift from my music student 6 years ago and was wanting replacement.

After browsing online and at the retail outlets of some reputable leather goods brands and comparing their design, functionality, quality and price, I settled for a Braun Buffel Depp leather wallet with embossed reptile hide prints. It must have been its exotic, out-of-the-ordinary looks that appealed to me. The pebbly texture of the raised scale-like patterns and deep mottled brown colouration gave an almost primal feel to the wallet. I felt both fear and excitement oozing while imagining myself caressing the skin of some long dead wild animal from deep within the untamed tropical jungles of the Amazon in South America. Perhaps it was the skin of a bone-crushing anaconda or that of a fearsome flesh-eating caiman with rows of pointy teeth!



Alas, my wild imagination reluctantly drifted back to reality after having been enlightened by the sales assistant that the wallet is made of cattlehide leather only, hence Braun Büffel, which literally translates to "Brown Buffalo".

Jinxed

On what I thought would turn out to be a fine day, my morning was jinxed. When I unlocked the front door to leave for work, the foot rug was out of place. It looks like the neighbourhood cats were having an orgy last night and messed up the front of my doorstep. I bet they even peed on it! Today, I left for work 10 minutes earlier than usual but arrived 10 minutes later. The traffic crawl on the highway was ridiculously bad and I have no idea why. There was no rain, no accidents. What usually takes between 25 to 30 minutes took 40 minutes today! And when I took the steps up to the basement lift, I received a cold wet drop of water from some leaking pipe above the staircase. It just had to drip on me today after almost a year of successfully avoiding the leaks. And when I arrived at my office, I realised that I had left my paper bag containing my breakfast at home on the bench outside my front door. I bet the cats will be having a feast after exhausting all their energy on the intense orgy last night! ROARRR!!!

2012

Be prepared. The end is nigh.

Just kidding! I don't succumb to such archaic predictions, but it does sound rather exciting doesn't it? Imagine no more traffic jams and no more work. Hasta la vista to all my demanding and lousy clients! Goodbye to bills and loan repayments. Hahahaha!

Well, I am 4 days late but it's still not too late to wish everybody here a Happy New Year! Today is the second day of work for the new year, children are back to school and the traffic congestion on the road is back to normal. For me, it's the thought of driving through heavy traffic that is more unbearable than the thought of returning to work after a long break.

However, fear not! The traffic will clear up soon. There will be a long break coming in less than 3 weeks! It's the most dreaded time of the year for me - Chinese New Year, with hordes of shoppers at the malls, gawdy bright red and yellow decorations hung up everywhere and the annoying repetitive Chinese New Year tunes, exacerbated by the shrill teeny voices of little girls singing. Prices of certain perishables and haircuts go up due to a sudden increase in demand for such goods and services. Even the weather appears unfavourable with very hot, dry and sunny days leading up to the actual day of the celebration. I usually fall ill before Chinese New Year with the usual combination of fever, sore throat and cough. And finally, there's the annual extended family gathering which I am obliged to attend. I will be seeing distant relatives who I only meet once a year, and the place will be buzzing with sounds and activity from the chatter of aunts catching up on lost gossip to the shuffling and knocking of mahjong chips as the gamblers delve deep into their 'gambler's ruins', and the screams, squeals and cries of little children running about the house. It's a war zone to me.

My only consolation to this most dreaded time of the year is that my grandma will always cook up a storm in the kitchen during the family reunion dinner on the eve (this is the gathering I enjoy the most as it is with immediate family members only). I will get to eat some of my favourite foods and Chinese New Year delicacies such as waxed meats, braised mushrooms with clams and abalone, roast pork with pork crackle, stir-fried mixed vegetables with scallop, steamed grouper with soy sauce and ginger and lotus soup. There will also be heaps of munchies and goodies such as BBQ pork slices, cookies, chips and an endless supply of alcohol!

Perhaps it isn't too bad after all despite all my dislikes. The price of putting up with the hustle and bustle of the festivities is good food and spending great time with my family. And I also receive little red packets containing money.